Make Funeral Planning Personal

Honoring a life lived in a personal way can definitely help with the healing process. There are many things that can be done to make a funeral memorable and meaningful for the family and friends. Traditionaly funerals have a reading of the obituary, songs, a message and a viewing of the body, followed by a short ceremony at the gravesite. While that tradition is still great, there are many things that can be incorporated to make the service even more memorable.

• THE INTERNET

• The internet has brought a new technological aspect to funeral planning, your funeral home most likely has a website that will display your loved ones obituary and give an opportunity for firends and family to sign an online guest book.

• MEMORIAL VIDEOS

• A memorial video or slideshow is a compilation of pictures featuring your loved one. I really love the fact that memorial videos have emerged in the past decade, I feel it really helps to capture the essence of the person that you are there to honor. Sometimes the funeral home will post the video to their website and you can share with friends and family.

I remember one time I was asked to preside over a funeral as speaker. The lady who's husband had passed away handed out blank index cards and pens to everyone and asked them to write a special memory they had of her husband. Once the cards were gathered they were given to me and she asked me to read those cards instead of ministering a sermon. It was a very sweet service because many memories were shared about a man that I hadn't known, by the time I got to the last card I felt I knew how much this man had impacted the lives of everyone in attentance.

BALLOON CEREMONY

A friend of mine lost his 3 month old little boy suddenly and left behind his mother and father and 4 siblings. It was a very tough situation and when it comes to little children grief seems to be unbearable (understandibly). At the cemetery we took balloons and messages were written saying goodbye to the baby and we released them into the sky. Watching those balloons float away into the blue sky eventually fading from view, I realized that it was actually a meaningful way to honor this little baby.

WRITING ON THE CASKET

I recently was the funeral director on a service where a young man had drowned, there was no way for viewing. The family desperately needed closure and it was devistating to them that the casket was going to be closed. I suggested that since we could not open that casket that we could hand out magic markers and allow friends and family write a message or simply sign their name to the casket before burial. It was like everything changed, their faces lit up and said that would be perfect. We have since done that very thing on other funerals and it seems to be a great way for family and friends to express themselves during the funeral process.

TEDDY BEAR

I have also suggested to families that when a little child cannot understand the whole funeral aspect fully, that they bring in a stuffed teddy bear and let he child give the teddy bear a great big hug and place it into the casket with their loved one to help them say goodbye, it seems to work very well.

There are several other things that can be done to make the service meaningful, such as dove releases, candle ceremonies, flower petal ceremonies, etc. The point is, make the funeral planning as personal as possible, it will make a huge difference.

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